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Thanksgiving Columns: Tofurky woes

Happy Thanksgiving from The Circuit staff! Instead of telling you these stories around the dinner table, we decided to write about them. Enjoy columns, opinions and stories related to the Thanksgiving holiday from our entire staff.

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Tofurky woes: vegetarian on Thanksgiving 

By Angelica Nelson

The Nelson household’s Thanksgiving is a pretty typical sight. We prepare all of the classic Midwestern Thanksgiving dishes: mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and casseroles galore. However, one keen observer may notice that although we cook a whole turkey for dinner, it is left almost untouched and stored as a leftover in our fridge for far too long. 

You see, my mom, Deb, has been a lifelong vegetarian. Therefore, out of respect and solidarity for this bold decision, many members of our family have chosen to forego this Thanksgiving classic. Although some may view this as a devastation for Thanksgiving, the Nelson household has chosen to persevere. 

One year, we decided to get particularly creative. Instead of cooking a traditional Thanksgiving turkey, we decided to make its equally reputable, delicious counterpart: the tofurky. This tofu concoction would be the same difference as a real turkey, right? Wrong. Very wrong. We naively cooked the fiber-rich, plant-based log in hopes that it would fulfill our carnivorous desires. Optimistic that we finally found a solution to this Thanksgiving conundrum, we eagerly cut into the meatless turkey replacement. Yet, one-by-one, we each discovered that this chewy replacement would be no match for a traditional Thanksgiving turkey. Napkins were spit into and dogs were fed (we don’t actually have dogs, but if we did, they would be). Despite our convictions, we found that there was no equivalent to the legendary Thanksgiving turkey. 

From then on, it was decided that we would give in to Thanksgiving standards. Although very few of us choose to actually eat the turkey each year, there is something special about gathering together with a full Thanksgiving spread. However, let this be a reminder to check in on the vegetarians in your life on Thanksgiving, and please, for the Nelson family’s sake, make sure they do not make tofurky. 

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